terminate or be terminated...

wow! its been almost 2 months since my last update, dang!! dint knew time just flew by so fast.. just yet another time to have my rants and grunts about life ohh.. life... how sick would u get? well.. its been pretty much sucky lately..

firstly i still cant find my motivation\determination to go work and this has been ongoing for a year now (yeap lucky i aint got my arse kicked out yet)... still really cant find the path that i want to take yet, dont know what to do, seems to be aimless wandering around in a circle with everything i do.

secondly, knowing that things has been pretty bad with the company, knowing the financial situation thats going on there, it seems life you've sold your soul to the company and they never appreciate every single effort of it (well, that may be one of the reasons i just dont feel like going to work), dumbfark CEO whos been shagging a hunchback for all this while is still doing it and yet proclaiming himself as a good christian (no offence but if you know the things he do, u'll have to agree with me).

what do you do when your not being appreciated? what do you do? look for a new job and hope things would be better there? things just keep spinning and spinning in my mind, whats next? whats next? and whats next?

i've taken my first step into getting my pro certifications, what are the rest of the steps i need to take? trying to work out step by step as i'm running out of time and resources to do it. need to take desparate measures to ensure that things are smooth sailing. yet i still wonder, how can a leader within the company be so soft? how is he going to lead a team of ppl who has dedicated their time and effort dying for the company. well, maybe i'm not in his shoes and i dont know whats up his sleeves, but i just hope things would be ironed out soon.

thirdly, 2007 is coming to a close, family members are asking me the big question, when is my turn? well, for now i cant really tell when is my turn although the question itself has been running wild in my head for a while now. just that i have too many things bothering me at the moment. well, if things goes well, i should have a time frame, and also a decision on how will things go with my life, its time to take things into my own hands now, i've been letting it go drifting for way too long.

well, thats just the quick update i got. yeap... merry xmas and a happy new year... :P :P have fun have fun...